i'm angry, sharp-tongued, reactive, mercurial, prone to arguing, impatient, and have virtually no attention span. why would anyone want to know what i have to say about anything?
well, you do. because i'm also awesome.
if you said "you are," you'd be absolutely correct.
i like to waste my money, and cosplaying seems as good a thing to throw money at as any of my other hobby choices... my coworkers think i'm weird. admittedly, i am. but they spend all of their money on beer and cigarettes. so.
i can think of a lot of examples, but what i'm talking about right now is karaoke. being part of a drunken crowd singing along is fun, i suppose, but i want to be the idiot onstage belting out slightly off-key.
and i am damn well going to sing whatever i want to, i do not care if you've never heard of Kate Bush or Hot Hot Heat. or Jesus Christ Superstar.
i don't have anything useful or enlightening to say. i wouldn't make a post, except that this is a sort of exercise in dedication for myself, and i don't want to slack out just yet.
oh, wait! enlightening! people, allow me to enlighten you. you need one of these:
it's FUNSIZE!
the basic idea is, it's a little electronic music box that plays Buddhist chants. apparently they're similar to prayer wheels, in that they have an endless loop of song or chant. people also use them to meditate, since the repetition can be soothing. (or it can make you flip out like a crazy person- repetitive noise often have this effect on me. especially beeping. *shudder.*) this blue one has 12 different settings, i also got the Tibetan 4 chant version. let me just say: MAGICAL. if you want, you can buy one here.
it comes with a headphone port and a neckstrap- let me tell you, it does look a little goofy around the neck, like bling for a Buddhist rapper, or an alternative to LifeAlert... "Help! I'm having a heart attack!" well, it won't send an ambulance, but it will help you start praying to the ancestors that you'll be reincarnated into something good...*
*(yes, i know. i'm not being serious. i'm just kind of an asshole.)
i want the 69 song version- it has a psychedelic spinning light Buddha, it just doesn't get better than that....
OH WAIT, YES IT DOES. i want this with the burning passion of the sun. i haven't ordered it yet because i believe they are actually sold out, and i'm pretending that when i DO get my shit together and order it, i will actually get one. (i'll save the discussion about my completely neurotic fixation on random things later.)
and, just because someone went to the trouble of making an auto-embed code:
i think i might have done something terrible in a previous life to be condemned to wait tables in this one. or maybe i did something terrible in THIS life, which is actually true, and isn't really all that terrible- BE LAZY.
that was not the most eloquent sentence i have ever constructed.
anyway, the point is, waiting tables is balls. BALLS. but it pays better than working retail, has a super flexible schedule, and allows me to remain fat at a fraction of the cost my constant french-fry eating would otherwise incur.
the best part is that i don't even like french fries, excepting Chik-fil-a waffle fries. those things are goddamn magical.
that's right, bitch. those pants look like they're fitting a little too well, maybe you should EAT UNTIL YOU PUKE. mmmm.
ooh, i know, why don't you put some ranch dressing on there too?
i WANTED to call this blog 'glass asylum.' apparently, some douche took that name in 2005 and hasn't been back since. thanks, asshole. at least make an intro post if you're going to start one of these fuckers.
ALSO: WHO WANTS TO SEE SOMETHING CREEPY?
oh, Bob Fosse. that's somewhat inappropriate! then again, that entire movie is a WTFfest.
again and again and! my endless talent for forgetting to chronicle my own life is regrettable, but probably for the best. i've located many an abortive teenage attempt at diary-keeping, and let me just tell you that i am no poet. i'm not sure i realized that at the time...
i've written exactly ONE poem in my life that did not suck like a streetwalking Hoover.
perhaps i shall share it one day.
since 'blogs' were such a big deal several years ago, and everyone has since moved on to 'tumblr' and 'twitter' and 'actually speaking to people in real life,' i've decided it's high time i started a blog.
ooh, maybe i'll link to it from my LiveJournal! (i won't. this was a joke.)
in any event, i don't expect anyone to read this, and i don't have very high hopes as far as remembering to update it more than three times before i wander off after something shiny. and even if i DID magically get my scatterbrains together, i could hardly ask you kind and mentally stable and wholly unsuspecting people to subject yourselves to my brand of whining. even if it is sometimes funny.
it's FUNSIZE!
it comes with a headphone port and a neckstrap- let me tell you, it does look a little goofy around the neck, like bling for a Buddhist rapper, or an alternative to LifeAlert... "Help! I'm having a heart attack!" well, it won't send an ambulance, but it will help you start praying to the ancestors that you'll be reincarnated into something good...*
OH WAIT, YES IT DOES. i want this with the burning passion of the sun. i haven't ordered it yet because i believe they are actually sold out, and i'm pretending that when i DO get my shit together and order it, i will actually get one. (i'll save the discussion about my completely neurotic fixation on random things later.)
